Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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