Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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