how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
