I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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