the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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