The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
