but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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