Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My breasts were aching with rage.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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