Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
