His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
