fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
