i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
