he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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