I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He has the fingertips of a God
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
