I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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