Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
