I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
