So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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