if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
