i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
wow bdsm is so cute
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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