I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
so much tequila, so little girl.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
