Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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