when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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