I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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