dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
