I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
