hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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