so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Randomize
