Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
