we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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