so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
