OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
