omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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