so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
