You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so explain again why im purple
no
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
