It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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