Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
