Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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