I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
