you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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