hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
