You're my little dorito
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
