Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
