There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
