Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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