What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
His hands were made for my vagina.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
