hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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