whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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