is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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