Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
