This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
