If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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