he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
