belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
